Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
