well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
