I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
