when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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