so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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