they need to just BURY HIM!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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