I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
