What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
no you cant smoke seaweed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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