WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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