I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
