I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
