i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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