Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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