I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
