holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
