We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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