I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
