on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
