why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
