Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
