That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize