I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
