Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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