the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
