I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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