I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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