Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
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Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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You grabbed my dick don't call me son
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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