You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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