Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
