Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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