My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize