There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The beer is more important than you right now.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
