Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I cut my penus on the lid.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
