And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize