Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
