Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize