i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
