let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
