Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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