My nipple is on Facebook.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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