I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
and she was petting her beer can
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
