im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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