i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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