the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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