Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
