Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
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Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
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I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.