just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
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literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
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Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?