Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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