Im at strip club and am horny
we have officially lost it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!