apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
