i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
