I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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