so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
