Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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