don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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