Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
