They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
