so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
