Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
